bio

I wrote a little bio blurb for a friend of mine for an email announcement tonight, and it's got me thinking about - well, writing little bio blurbs. How does one condense (summarize) the sum of one's experience into a paragraph (summary) or even a few paragraphs?

It all depends on audience, of course, but taking that for granted for a moment, there are a few assumptions we can make about writing a blurb about a person. 1. We will not get everything in there. 2. Things will be left out. 3. There are ways of saying things that allow a phrase to tell the whole story, because 4. Assumptions will be made based on those few short sentences. Or long sentences. Long complicated sentences with lots of clauses, the structure of which the author probably attempts to vary in order not to sound boring and in turn making the person being bio'ed sound boring.

So now I might wonder how I would summarize myself (the little about me to the right of this post is super out of date - I'm not really on my way to a PhD, so why not amend it?), but in my current state of mind I'm wondering more who my audience would be. As I just alluded, I've decided not to apply to PhD programs again this year. Maybe next year, but there would be no point now - I haven't done anything new. I'm barely even writing, let alone publishing.

That is not to suggest that I haven't had a lot of experiences in the last year that have been beneficial, but they're not exactly cv-worthy. And that's fine.

But I'm at this point where I am writing cover letters, and I'm really bad at it. I've never liked my statements of purpose either. Is it because I don't like trying to summarize myself? I just wrote a paragraph about my friend in less than half an hour. Is it that I don't think I have the proper qualifications (I know I don't), and in trying to sound like I might be able to do the job anyway I sound a little bit like a fraud? Hm. The thing is, I could be beginning a PhD program right now, and I could definitely do that. (I've already gotten a master's degree, so I can't help but thinking getting a second one would be easier. I'm sure the third through sixth years would be immeasurably more difficult.) I also think I could totally be a bar manager. I don't know everything I would like to, but I know a lot and I learn super fast. When I want to do something.

It's because I think I sound defensive.

"I know stuff. Really. Honest. No, I do. It doesn't look like it, but I know stuff. I can do it. Promise."

Would I hire me? Probably not.

And yet...

The thing about my job right now is that the chefs/owners have made it easy for me: we have amazing food and amazing wine, and the two go together really well. And I've tasted almost everything on the menu (minus a few of the pricier reds). But it does require selling - it's not a cuisine a lot of people (myself included) are familiar with. And I'm pretty successful at selling this food and wine.

And sometimes people just want to hear that it tastes good.

It's a last resort. There are a million more specific ways of describing a dish (sweet, spicy, crispy, peppery, unique, interesting, traditional, rich, light, etc.) or a bottle (earthy, spicy, fruit-forward, fresh berries, jammy, tannic, creamy, acidic, etc.), but sometimes, no matter how good something sounds, people want to hear that you like it. Which is why I know closeted vegetarians and vegans working at restaurants - people believe you more if they know you've tasted it. And if they believe you like it.

So does the same thing go for selling myself to prospective employers and admissions committees? Of course. I'm not so naive as to not already know that. And I've nailed some interviews, I've charmed some of the more resistant-looking, but I've also thought I nailed interviews and never heard from my prospective employer again.

I'm just feeling self-conscious about my resume. I moved the master's degree to the bottom for my bartending resume. I added a list of restaurants without dates because I have the experience, just not long-term experience, and I think that's important too. But none of them scream high-volume, and I remember that job that looks like it's not high-volume, and it was in fact as demanding as any other bar I've been to (if for a shorter time period, perhaps), and we had to be nice to people, cultivate regulars, have conversations. And I feel weird because I hated it and I miss it.

Oh, existential crises. Maybe I'll just run away to somewhere sunny. Work in a bar for tourists. Lay on the beach. Yeah, maybe I'll just give it all up and settle for that.

...After realizing that the bartending job she worked at to support herself through a BA in English and an MA in Humanities and Social Thought was the job she wanted to do - if not in the right city - Christina decided to... to what? To make it happen.