A week or so ago I'd been reading an article in the New Yorker about the CEO of J. Crew ("The Merchant," Sept 20,2010), and a few paragraphs in I thought of emailing the article to my sister, as she has aspirations that include merchandising for a clothing company. A few days later I got to the fourth page - because I am only on the train for ten or fifteen minutes at a time these days as my commute is mostly walking and much shorter than it once was - and I happened on Brenda Shaunessy's lovely poem, "I wish I had more sisters." Instantly I decided I would tear out the article and send it to my sister instead, so she could share the poem with me (and our other sister) and also because I knew she would enjoy getting actual physical mail from me.
A few days later, still only halfway through the piece, our 92-yr-old grandmother died. Deep breath. So, long story short, I was able to give it to her in person. I was able to share it with both of my sisters at once, and also with my mother, who has two sisters as well. (And two brothers and sisters in law and cousins and nieces and nephews and an additional generation going to boot. We're a tight family.) But this poem is about sisters. But it's also about family and about close friends and it really meant a lot to me in this moment that happened just after the poem appeared in front of me. Serendipitous.
The J. Crew article I found more compelling at the beginning than toward the end - it was a long article. But I delighted in it at times, and I thoroughly enjoyed the article that followed it: "Tavi Says." It took me back to poring over Harper's Bazaar when I was thirteen, when I ironed my jeans at the prompting of a book about French women sensibility that I bought at Express when it was still what I thought of at the time as European, classic, and chic. (Wow, that seems long ago.)
The piece inspired me to actually go through with cleaning out my closet once and for all and doing a major thrift shopping therapy. It's a new season and I am settling into my new neighborhood. It's time. Am I going to start reading her blog? I don't even read my friends' fashion blogs - or literary blogs or political blogs for that matter. I have a feeling that this will in fact be changing. The creation of trans lit mag was intended to get myself to focus more on the literary world than I had let myself because of my other career in the restaurant business. "So I'll just have two careers!" I said to my father a few hours ago.
I have the feeling I've pushed a very large boulder over a cliff and just realized it's tied to my foot. Here we go.
